what is in my heart? (-_-)

Wut do u 1 in ur life? happiness? wellness? i want a perfect life.. i want 2 have everything i wanted 2 have..

ap yg ad pada org lain xde pd ak? ak ad family..ak ad bf..ak ad kwn2..tp knp ak masih xpuas??

hmm family?? 2 much 2 say...sape yg xsyg family kan...tp terlalu byk kesalahan ak dh wat..ak menyesal..dh byk kali ak try utk mula dgn yg bru..tp..mst ad je bnd lame yg diungkit blk...smpai ble nk bis..bkn ke sume org pernah wat silap?

bf? it's too complicated..kami dh lame bersama..4 years 2 be together is enough 4 me 2 know him..but at dis moment..i dun think i know him..he way to far from me...n dun know wut he's doing rite now..he didnt call me 2day.. not even a msg..hmm cm ne nk ckp.. ak xpenah percaya die..is dat mean i dun love him? but i can't live without him.. i need him..but i dun even know am i important 2 him..4 tahun..mcm2 halangan kteorg dh lalui..mcm2..family..org luar..sume nye kami dh pernah tempuh..tp skrg.... it seems like not worth it we get through those things..die lebih byk menyepikan diri..msg jarang jwb..kol ssh nk angkat..nk kol blk pun jarang..dlu everyday kteorg contact..everynyte b4 tido mst sembang plg cepat 2 jam..tp sekarang..sume dh xde lg..ak penah terfikir utk lari dari die..tp smapai ble2 pun ak akn skt even ak lari..i love him damn much...tp knp die wat sume ni? i need 2 know y..ak wat slh ke? ak xtahu dh nk wat ap lg...

kwn2..i do have alot of friends...jauh dekat..sume ad..my housemates..byk bantu ak lupekan mslh ak..tp smapi ble ak ley lupekan mslh ak 2 kan..ak kne gak hadapi..ak ssh nk cite mslh ak kat dorg..ak malu..even ak dh kenal dorg lame dh..ntah la..kdg2 je..may be dorg nmpk ak cm xde mslh..sbnrnye..ak pk mcm2..i love all my frens..i do anything 4 them..

this is my 1st post..i dun know wut 2 say..dis is all i have 2 say now.. i wish i get a better life 2morrow..2morrow is better den 2day~~!!